Comments on: ThirtySomething=Babies or Bust? http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/ Follow some jet setting Divas who take the world by storm Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:41:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: brunettechicagogal http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-2731 brunettechicagogal Wed, 23 Aug 2006 16:50:51 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-2731 You're supposed to live your life. That's what you should do. I am 39 and, despite wanting to meet my life partner AND have a baby, it hasn't happened yet. I wouldn't say I made it my main focus during my thirties -- I certainly wanted and still want it -- but I worried too much about it, and as a result, depression ensued from time to time. I am just now learning that I cannot worry about the future. It doesn't exist yet. I need to live in the here and now. So that's my advice: keep on with your adventures, and life will happen as it's supposed to. You’re supposed to live your life. That’s what you should do. I am 39 and, despite wanting to meet my life partner AND have a baby, it hasn’t happened yet. I wouldn’t say I made it my main focus during my thirties — I certainly wanted and still want it — but I worried too much about it, and as a result, depression ensued from time to time. I am just now learning that I cannot worry about the future. It doesn’t exist yet. I need to live in the here and now. So that’s my advice: keep on with your adventures, and life will happen as it’s supposed to.

]]> By: Susan http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1885 Susan Thu, 20 Jul 2006 17:04:55 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1885 I'm not one of your writers but I'd love to give it a whirl....Let me know what to do! It's nice to know I made someone other than myself laugh. I’m not one of your writers but I’d love to give it a whirl….Let me know what to do! It’s nice to know I made someone other than myself laugh.

]]> By: Editor http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1864 Editor Wed, 19 Jul 2006 20:17:20 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1864 Susan, you make me laugh! Are you one of our writers? You should be. Your comment is on literary par with Erica Jong. Please write for us, and congratulations! I hope you, the fellow with the worthy sperm and the dictator are all very well... :) Susan, you make me laugh! Are you one of our writers? You should be. Your comment is on literary par with Erica Jong. Please write for us, and congratulations! I hope you, the fellow with the worthy sperm and the dictator are all very well… :)

]]> By: Susan http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1863 Susan Wed, 19 Jul 2006 20:09:48 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1863 When I read this I had to laugh...that was me 2 and 7/12 years ago. Although at the time I was closer to 40 than 30. I too had 2 cants (ans still do) and was worried that I'd end up being that scary spinster cat lady in the neighborhood. You know the one that dies and when someone discovers the body the house is filled with 117 cats that are suddenly homeless. I too, didn't like babies and couldn't imagine my life with a 9 pound dictator, how could I possibly give up my trips on a whim, my late night drunk dialing booty calls? But also was tossing around the idea of life without all that. Do I want a child? how the heck am I going to get one if I'm so far from even meeting a man who is respectable enough that I'd want his sperm. Then bang! wow! it happened. In a bar, of course, I met the man who with in 6 months of meeting him, I was wearing a ring that was big enough to show off, and with in a year we were married and the next year the 3 bedroom house and child. Now I can't imagine going on trips on a whiim and drunk dialing booty calls. I miss my dictator when I'm not with her and know now that if it's suppose to happen it will and there are no right or wrong answers. It's all about the journey, enjoy whatever roads you happen upon. It's not necessarily the ones you choose but perhaps they choose you. good luck! When I read this I had to laugh…that was me 2 and 7/12 years ago. Although at the time I was closer to 40 than 30. I too had 2 cants (ans still do) and was worried that I’d end up being that scary spinster cat lady in the neighborhood. You know the one that dies and when someone discovers the body the house is filled with 117 cats that are suddenly homeless. I too, didn’t like babies and couldn’t imagine my life with a 9 pound dictator, how could I possibly give up my trips on a whim, my late night drunk dialing booty calls? But also was tossing around the idea of life without all that. Do I want a child? how the heck am I going to get one if I’m so far from even meeting a man who is respectable enough that I’d want his sperm. Then bang! wow! it happened. In a bar, of course, I met the man who with in 6 months of meeting him, I was wearing a ring that was big enough to show off, and with in a year we were married and the next year the 3 bedroom house and child. Now I can’t imagine going on trips on a whiim and drunk dialing booty calls. I miss my dictator when I’m not with her and know now that if it’s suppose to happen it will and there are no right or wrong answers. It’s all about the journey, enjoy whatever roads you happen upon. It’s not necessarily the ones you choose but perhaps they choose you.

good luck!

]]> By: Lana http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1729 Lana Thu, 13 Jul 2006 20:36:28 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1729 I have two very simple pieces of wisdom that may or may not help: One, don't make any decisions out of fear. Marry because you've met someone you want to hold on to, not because you're scared you'll be single forever. For the same reason, stay single because you love it, not because you're afraid of commitment. Don't let the unknown sway you from amazing possibilities because you're scared of "what if?" Two, we regret the things we have not done more than the things we have. But that's for you to decide. I have two very simple pieces of wisdom that may or may not help:

One, don’t make any decisions out of fear. Marry because you’ve met someone you want to hold on to, not because you’re scared you’ll be single forever. For the same reason, stay single because you love it, not because you’re afraid of commitment. Don’t let the unknown sway you from amazing possibilities because you’re scared of “what if?”

Two, we regret the things we have not done more than the things we have. But that’s for you to decide.

]]> By: Annonymous Sperm Donor http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1692 Annonymous Sperm Donor Wed, 12 Jul 2006 20:26:08 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1692 Your friends that have used sperm donors sounds like the way to go. The women is independant these days and doesn't need a man for really anything, they've got toys for that. I donated sperm and it paid well. Your friends that have used sperm donors sounds like the way to go. The women is independant these days and doesn’t need a man for really anything, they’ve got toys for that. I donated sperm and it paid well.

]]> By: Editor http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1685 Editor Wed, 12 Jul 2006 02:13:42 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1685 Lynn, you are amazing! I feel so much better reading your thoughtful comment! Birthdays have begun to start freaking me out. Instead of just party plans, I have lately become mired in LIFE plans, which ain't nearly as fun as calling in the strippers... Lynn, you are amazing! I feel so much better reading your thoughtful comment! Birthdays have begun to start freaking me out. Instead of just party plans, I have lately become mired in LIFE plans, which ain’t nearly as fun as calling in the strippers…

]]> By: Lynn http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1681 Lynn Tue, 11 Jul 2006 19:19:57 +0000 http://www.tangodiva.com/blog/2006/07/10/thirtysomething%e2%80%94babies-or-bust/#comment-1681 You letter pains me as i could have been me 20 years ago, and 10 years ago, and five years ago. Life is shorter than you think. Forget about "some day". Forget about your family and friend's expectations. Travel should remind you that there are other ways to live than getting preggers and settling down aka settling. There is no right answer and there will always be regrets about the road not taken. Don't waste your time on party boys if they are a symptom of your low self esteem, not because they would make bad fathers. Apples and oranges. Hang around with men and friends that make you feel good about yourself. Don't buy into our culture's expectations of what you should be doing with your body. If you meet the right partner the two of you can go forth and invent your own relationship that works for you. If you are lonely a lot, maybe you need to be in a relationship. If you are basically content, don't sweat it, you're the independent type. There really is no meaning to life, just a life to savor and enjoy every last minute of. Stop and smell the roses, be grateful for all you have and spend quality time with those you love while they are still here. Let people know how much they mean to you. Enjoy the creative , authentic , unique you. You letter pains me as i could have been me 20 years ago, and 10 years ago, and five years ago. Life is shorter than you think. Forget about “some day”. Forget about your family and friend’s expectations. Travel should remind you that there are other ways to live than getting preggers and settling down aka settling. There is no right answer and there will always be regrets about the road not taken. Don’t waste your time on party boys if they are a symptom of your low self esteem, not because they would make bad fathers. Apples and oranges. Hang around with men and friends that make you feel good about yourself. Don’t buy into our culture’s expectations of what you should be doing with your body. If you meet the right partner the two of you can
go forth and invent your own relationship that works for you. If you are lonely a lot, maybe you need to be in a relationship. If you are basically content, don’t sweat it, you’re the independent type. There really is no meaning to life, just a life to savor and enjoy every last minute of. Stop and smell the roses, be grateful for all you have and spend quality time with those you love while they are still here. Let people know how much they mean to you. Enjoy the creative , authentic , unique you.

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