Today I got an email from David with the question: Where do you want to go? Galapagos, Otavalo and Peru? Botswana, Namibia? Rwanda or Uganda to visit the Apes? And though the day could not have been more jam packed with deadlines, phone calls emails, links, etc this question brought on a stillness. I forgot everything else for a few moments. I imagined the sea and the rocks of the Galapagos. Yes. I can see myself there. Rwanda? Yes. I can place myself on the ground with wide sweeping horizon in every direction I turn and heat emanating beneath the soles of my barefeet. Uganda. Apes. Hmm. I can visualize Julia Roberts there - remember that piece she did a few years back? Placing myself in the jungle with loose apes, just a little scary. Where do I want to go? Great question - and one we should ask ourselves often. Considering the rain for the past few weeks, I want sun, sand and sea. Island hopping sounds perfect. Capri is calling this year. Maybe like Survivor, I should concentrate on islands. Lets see. I have been to: Hawaii - duh Ovalau, Fiji Isla Mujeres Many tiny islands off of Ipanema Britain - ha! Ireland - ho! Phillips Island, South Australia- to watch the penguins! North and South islands of New Zealand and possibly more given time to remember. Thank you David, for my afternoon of mini-mind travels across the world! The answer is I want to do it all! Where do you want to go?

It’s that personal pampering time of year again- hoorah for the annual Monterey County Girls’ Goodlife Getaway travel deals! From March 1 - April 30, Divas can enjoy the decadent Monterey, CA lifestyle at delicious prices. Shop, spa, golf and wine taste to your discerning heart’s content- all the sumptuous somethings that Monterey is known for!

For more information and to print out culinary and captivating coupons, visit http://goodlifegetaway.com/.  

You hear about those freak accidents that totally change people’s lives. They take a left turn, instead of a right and they get hit by a bus. Or, like the recent bird flu deaths cause by young women picking feathers off dead swans. Well, my tale is not that dramatic, but it could have been.

Yesterday I went to the monkey school where they train monkeys to pick coconuts and help on the local farms. I was playing with a cute young money (only 5 months old – see the picture) and we had a grand time. I then washed my hands and bought myself an ice cream. The lady at the stand said that the baby monkey liked ice cream too. Well, stupid me, I reached out to give the monkey my ice cream and the little beast bit my finger instead of the ice cream!

Not good, I watched too many outbreak movies with bad monkey bites involved. Ebola, HIV, rabies, turing into vampires, etc., etc. Plus HIV is a monkey disease that was passed to humans. The horrible thoughts just gooped around in my head like mud. I am a freak when it comes to bacteria and disease. Luckily my girlfriend Victoria was staying at the Four Seasons, which was literally down the road from the scene of the crime. When in doubt – head to the Four Seasons!

I got to the lobby and when I asked for her I broke down in tears. They called for her and a doctor. When the doctor arrived, she was saying in her broken English things like HIV, rabies, hospital, blood samples. I went into shock and Victoria took over. What a trooper! What a great friend! She called for a translator and then the doctor called the monkey school and within two hours, I had a series of shots for rabies (which I need to continue for another 4 weeks) tetanus, and I have been put on antibiotics.

The lessons I learned. 1. DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS!!! 2. You never know when drama is going to strike, and sometimes you just can’t be prepared. But whatever you do, act immediately. 3. Get all your shots updated before you go off and trek into the jungle, luckily a domesticated monkey bit me. Imagine if I got bit by a grown male in the wild…it could happen. 4. Oh, and I am not going to watch anymore scary movies about monkey virus breakouts.

Now it is Monday, March 20, 2006 and I have been chilling on Rai Lay Beach. It is an incredible destination filled with European travelers and a few Americans. (So far I have met only three Americans and a endless number of gorgeous Swedes!) Yesterday I took a speedboat tour out to “The Beach” location. It is a small sandy beach on Phi Phi Island where Leonardo ran around almost naked.

I went with two girls from Montreal who are traveling around the world. They are not backpackers, but FLASHpackers. You will read more about these two fabulous women who are spending nine months traveling, shopping, and flirting around the world. As it should be when you are in your twenties!

Just when I thought nothing could get any better than my naked night of thunder and lighting, my next night at Banyan Tree was just as exceptional. I experienced the Spa Ryokan treatment, which goes from 7:00 pm to 1:00 pm the next day. I was given my own therapist who served as my private maid and waitress.

I was moved into a Spa Ryokan villa. It is a villa with a private rain shower and sauna room, outdoor shower, outdoor bathtub, and massage area with two massage tables and a ton of oils ad massage products.

My first treatment of the night was the “Rainmist and Rain Shower,” that was followed by an 18-course dinner in my room. The dinner was tiny portions of a cornucopia of Thai delights. Yummy!

After dinner I was treated to the most spectacular bath ever! I read about those lucky people who bathe in orchids and milk, but I never thought I would be one of them. Sure enough, my wonderful therapist prepared the bath for me while I was eating dinner. The bath was filled with orchids, lined in votive candles, and surrounded in tropical plants. I felt like I was on a movie set–it was unbelievable! Once I got into the bath, she poured the milk in. WOW!

That night I slept like a baby wrapped in Egyptian cotton sheets and more relaxed than I have been in years.

The next day started at 8:15 am, when my therapist brought me a plate of fresh fruit to enjoy before my morning yoga class. After the hour-long class I enjoyed a traditional Thai breakfast (when you sign up for this treatment, you can choose between Western or Thai food).

Breakfast was followed by a refreshing facial in my private massage area. After the facial, came the foot massage, then after the amazing foot massage I was treated to a “Asia Blend Massage.” With each of the services, you get to choose what type of facial and massage you prefer.

This experience was more than I could have ever asked for and I have never been so pampered in my whole life. At first, I was feeling a tad guilty about all the wonderful things that were happening to me. I think it is natural for us women to get uncomfortable about being spoiled and pampered. It is so hard for us to get into the moment and just enjoy that space. Our minds dart from one issue to the next without stopping the inner chatter. Well, I am happy to report that I did stop it, and it was heaven.

Banyan Tree Resort and Spa
Phuket
www.banyantree.com
+66 76 324 374

When you travel alone, it’s bound to happen, that moment when you realize that you are all alone and everything is right in your world. You are where you need to be. That happened to me when I was at Banyan Tree Resort in Phuket. I was staying in a villa with my own private swimming pool and outdoor bathtub. It was the first night in months that I had nothing to do. No chapters to write, event to attend… nothing. Just me and my thoughts in this perfect place.

I prepared for my night of solitude with a small bottle of champagne and a mango. I got naked and jumped into the warm water of my beautiful pool and gazed up at the stars. Between laps I sipped champagne and ate my delicious, juicy treat not worrying if I had mango all over my face and running down my chin. The experience was out of this world.

Moments into my liberating swim the skies darkened and it started to shower. Thunder and lighting filled the sky, and I just floated, watching the heavens put on a light show for me that was simply surreal.

At that moment, I knew everything was right in my world.

A piece of travel wisdom I learned early on was, “Don’t set your expectations too high,” because if you do, you open yourself up to failure and disappointment. Then, I showed up in Bangkok and since my arrival everything has been more than I could ask for. From $5 massages to $6 silk purses – this place is amazing! The streets are cleaner than San Francisco and the people are kind and patient. Why did I ever believe that this city was filled with trash and strippers? This city is all about spas and shopping!

The hotel that I am staying at, The Banyan Tree, have the most incredible service ever – a shopping guide (and expert haggler) for all their guests. So, on Sunday, with my shopping guide, we tackled the weekend market, where I bought everything from silk pillow cases to shoes. Then we trekked off to the night market. A few handbags, silk skirts, and scarves later, we ate a fantastic Thai dinner in the middle of a beer garden. What a perfect day!!

Last night I had dinner on top of the world at the Banyan Tree’s Vertigo Restaurant. It was spectacular. The views are breathtaking (and a bit freaky at first because you are 60 stories up) and the food is divine. If you are planning a trip to Bangkok, make reservations to Vertigo before you go, because it is always booked. Oh, but if you go solo, just grab a seat at the bar and order a few appetizers.

My stay in Bangkok has been more that I could have asked for, the Thai people are so kind, and the hotel has been perfectly sublime. I am off to Phuket in the morning. I can’t wait!

Oh, some of my favorite things in life include: fitting into a pair a jeans that I haven’t wore since college, finding those to-die-for stilettos half price, and my all time favorite…. UNEXPECTED UPGRADES!! Yes, dear readers, you have one happy jet setter sitting in Bangkok right now. Mere minutes before my flight on Thai Airways departed, I was called to the counter and a beautiful, purple piece of paper was haneded to me. This was the ticket that took me from Premier Economy (which I heard is fantastic) to Thai Royal Silk (which is utterly divine!). The experience was just like “the rose ceremony” on The Bachelor. A few travelers standing by, looking on, as I was given the piece of paper that secured me a big, cozy, reclining chair, champagne (served in a real glass) whenever I asked, three delicious meals (yes, served on gorgeous Thai dishes and real flatware!). I squealed and floated to the gate.

As a world traveler, I’ve been around, and flying has always been the enevitable evil I have to contend with if I don’t plan on walking. Not on Thai Airways. Even after 17 hours lounging in my big-ass thrown, watching movies, and eating Thai food, I really didn’t want to get off the plane.

And just when I thought  my life could not get any better. Banyan Tree Bangkok had a Mercedes driver waiting to pick me up. Then, yup, you guessed it, I got to the hotel and learned that I was upgraded to the Club Level. Gosh, I’m thinking I should buy a lottery ticket today!

My room is more than I could ask for! I have a cozy living area with a big desk for my international power writing episodes. Oh and they included yummy fruit basket, a bottle of wine, and my favorite – two different types of body scrubs. On the Club Level, I get a ton of benefits that I did not expect: free breakfast, Club Lounge scoobie snacks all day long, choice of pillow (who knew!), cosmetic bag, and a free 10-minute neck & shoulder rub. I am never leaving.

Ok kids, I am off to get some Thai food (yummm!) after my shoulder rub. Then off to the markets to buy gifts for everyone I love and adore. Wish you were here!

Beware the Brazilian consulate! I samba-ed into one the other day to apply for a visa (to Brazil- who knew?) expecting all the usual questions- have you ever tried one of our waxes? do you have proof of thong ownership? …etc. But sitting across the bulletproof glass from me was a young, utterly humorless Brazilian woman who peered at my application, verifying this point, challenging that point. Was this for Brazil or Baghdad? I was confused.

And where was her feathered headress? I tried to picture her and her severe colleagues at Carnival- would they be riding along on a puffy beaurocratic float throwing official forms out to the crowd?

Now we all know that this is just a little extortion dance- they want to raise money so they charge an entry fee, and who wouldn’t want a ticket to the show in Brazil? I’m totally fine with the concept. So why not just charge us a little tax at the Rio airport? Bleary-eyed people coming off planes are only too happy to chalk over some bucks for an ‘entry tax.’

The fact that they won’t let you on a Brazilian-bound plane without a visa is just silly. The fact that it is now Monday and my flight to Brazil leaves on Friday is now worrisome.

I was not coping very well in this governmental Copacabana. The woman across the glass now asks me for my airline itinerary. I have no airline itinerary with me. I wonder aloud if this was stipulated on their website.

She snarls, "Do you know how to read English?"

How do you say charming in Porgtuguese? At this point I’m not so sure I even want to go to Brazil anymore. But maybe you do. And of course I do, too. So to protect you from gleeful hassle and torment, here is my Brazilian visa checklist for you. Garlic and a wooden stake are optional:

1- $100. Yes, it’s quite a hefty little fee, and in San Francisco, at least, it can only be paid with a USPS money order, which must be obtained elsewhere. Oh hoops, jump through them and love it!

2- a local address in Brazil. Make sure your tour operator gives you one or that you have one. They don’t really want you to wing it.

3- a copy of your airline itinerary with your name on it.

4- eye of newt and wool of bat 

5- a large newspaper to hide behind in case an ex-lover (it ended badly) walks through the door and you both have to sit there awkwardly in the tiny room pretending not to see each other as you wait and wait and wait for your number to be called. True story.

I am addicted to Google Earth. Every chance I get to play with this incredible program I will. It’s like flying across the globe sans the long lines, airplane food, lost luggage, and jet lag. All you do is type in a destination and the image of the earth starts to spin in the direction of your city. You virtually fly through the sky and then dramatically descend onto your chosen spot. If it is a popular place, you can find lots of information about it–including posts from other uses, historical tidbits, National Geographic pictures and links to other relevant websites.

I zoomed down into Bangkok and check it out from the sky! I then flew over to Melbourne Australia, across to Buenos Aires, then up to Beijing–all in a matter of minutes! If you love exploring the world as much as I do, then Google Earth is a desktop must. It is a great way to fill those hectic moments, when you just want to escape for a few minutes, and soar above the world.